I put the pictures after the jump so I could track how many people actually look at this thing.  Hey, at least I’m honest.

On Saturday we were on a boat.  @JessfromNY caught a fish.  See above.

I’m not being negative about Shane, but taking a lead off of second base, looking down and almost being picked off is inexcusable.  And, to make it worse, the next pitch was hit to the shortstop and Victorino was caught between second and third base.

Numerous times this year Victorino has been picked off or caught between the basepaths.  I’m ok with him being aggressive on the basepaths, because that produces runs in the long run, but the costly mistakes of making the turn at first base on an infield hit, not paying attention when taking a lead and trying to stretch too many singles into doubles is costing this team runs.  And right now, the Phillies need to score as many runs as they can.

Maybe, just maybe, they should tell him that it’s back to t-ball rules and he isn’t allowed to leave the base until the catcher has the ball.  That’s it.  Nothing more.  JUST LEARN HOW TO RUN THE BASES!

Through research they’ve replicated the actual number of fans that show up for each team’s games.  Check out the picture (with actual number of fans) of a recent Sixers game that I played… and don’t ask me how I got a 5 on none breakaway or why there’s no one on the bench.

Now, keep in mind that this is not edited, so spelling may be a bit off…

: man it dont take that damn long to sign on the dotted line, lets go damit!!! You can be Batman i will be Robin, lets go!!

Oh and Carson is gonna be ALFRED

Cedric Benson is the riddler and bobbie williams is the penguin and tank johnson is mr. freeze

we cant forget coach Lewis he is gonna be detective BULLOCK

: yo 85! just finished dinner w/coach lewis about an hr ago, ate @ jeff ruby’s, coach had a steak & i had sea bass.

: holy batman where are you, Pow, Crunch, Boom!

man forget that damn dinner , yall go get the damn paper work, dont make me crunch, blam, pow yo ass!!!! CMon BATMAN

: Holy macadamian nuts Robin or Roker!! I got a meet & greet 2morr w/the owner, wr coach & OC. My days starts @ 745am Roker!

: wait a minute i am ROBIN and the JOKER rolled in one, so my name is ROKER<–wtf?

: Holy dancing shoes Robin/Roker!! How’s the rehearsals goin out there? Should i call u Robin, Roker or Ochocinco?

: shhh call me OCHO roker CINCO, rehearsals are awesome Batman, you got to get a batmobile to

OK, back to me now (not 85 or TO).  While I think this would get the entire city of Cincinnati fired up and sell a TON of merchandise, I’m not sure how this helps the Bengals.  While TO has helped every team he’s been with on the field, off the field and in the locker room he has been a mess.  Ochocinco bounced back last year after having his worst year in 2008, and having the presence of TO around can only be a hindrance.  The Bengals have been known to take on problem players, Chris Henry anyone?, but have not been successful on the football field while juggling everyone’s arrest warrants.  I’m not saying that TO will be doing anything illegal and getting arrested, but his clear negative history in the locker room can not be good for a team with such negative history in the press.  Marvin Lewis may only have another year to get this team on the right track, and with the TO loose cannon roaming around Cinci, he could lose this team before the season even starts.  On the other hand, I’d be first in line to buy a TO Bengals jersey, but that’s just me.

“Where does J Werth’s beard rank on the all time beard scale?” – you.

“I thought you’d never ask… let’s check out the beard scale from one to Abe Lincoln!” – me.

Chan Ho Park- He gets a solid 1.  He secures that 1 ranking mainly because he turned to the dark side and signed with the Yankees.  If he had just taken the Phillies cashmoney (more then the Yanks offered) his beard would be viewed as incredible, possibly even a 6 on the scale.  But sorry Park, shave it and go sit in the bullpen.  And I hope the Yankees never tell you when you are going to pitch so none of your family can ever watch you.

The Geico Caveman- This guy gets a 3.  I’d rate him much higher, but the beard is clearly FAKE.  I know it’s a shock to most of you, because you believe everything you see on TV, but this guy is a fraud.  He’s only getting the 3 because he’s convinced so many people that he actually is a real caveman, including the execs at ABC, who gave him a TV show for about 70 minutes last year.

Tom Hanks- Tom Hanks gets an 8.  No more, no less.  I mean, I guess he could get more, but I’d have to look at thousands of more beards and confirm that he is in higher then the 80th percentile to rank him any higher (and I’m not going to do that right now).    Hanks gets the 8 not only for his beard in Forrest Gump but also for his Cast Away beard, which was legendary at worst.

Brent Beddis- 8.5.  There’s a story to this one, and I’m probably going to tell it wrong, but I’m going to give it an honest effort here.  If the legend holds true, Brent grew his beard (seen below) for a solid year leading up to a very important med school test.  Now, Brent has a girlfriend, which in many cases makes growing a beard this [ridiculous] looking that much tougher, because there is constant nagging and objection, but Katherine is cool, so he was allowed to grow in peace.  Whether you’re at home or at work, give a quick round of applause for Brent Beddis and his commitment to the cause here.

If I had to pick one WWE/F wrestler that Jayson Werth most resembles, and there was some kind of money riding on percentages of people selecting the same wrestler, I’d have to take Edge.  But no money riding on this and I want to have fun with this… so just look at the picture below and tell me that with a change of shades, a cowboy hat, some hair dye and a championship belt, Jayson Werth does not look eerily similar to the Macho Man Randy Savage.  Randy gets a 7.25 here- good shape, stroked it often (that’s what she said) and never shaved it throughout all of his years in the squared circle.

Which famous beards did I leave out?  This list is by no means complete… but the US just came back to only being down by 1 stone after 6 ends in curling (you have no idea what I’m talking about), so the list has to end here.

This must be from 2008

Uhoh… BREAKING NEWS… and this is disturbing.

What does a photo of Brad Lidge have to do with PhillySportsPocalypse?

So, I typed Philly Sports Apocalypse into Google and this was the first image that came up.  That CAN NOT be a good sign for the upcoming season.

Anyway, check out the podcast and let me know if you agree or disagree (if you feel like it).

Listen at your convienience here or subscribe on iTunes here.

Thanks for listening!  Go Phils!

Video 1:

Ok, kinda funny right. There’s a decent chance that there is just someone off to the side yelling or whatever. But knowing that it could be fake, watch the second one. If you don’t laugh you probably aren’t really a human.

Video 2:

Ok, you can continue on with your day now.  Go build a snowman or do some snow angels or something.

We feel ya, Eddie.

We went into the season knowing the Sixers weren’t going to win the title, but they’d at least be respectable.  They’d be an above .500 team, and with a little luck and some tough play out of Brand (not 100% last year), Iggy (their go-to guy), Thad (supurb freshman season) and Lou Williams (finally given the opportunity to start) they could grab the 4th or 5th seed (behind Cleveland, Boston, and the combination of Miami, Atlanta and/or Chicago).  But instead, they’re at the bottom of the East with the lowly Nets (who have given the Sixers 3 of their wins).

If you are as frustrated with Sixers as I am, I suggest you check out the Deep Sixer blog, written by Kate Fagan.  She calls it as it is and lays out game by game what Eddie Jordan is doing wrong with this team.  Everything that you are thinking… she is writing.

Spike and I had her on the podcast this week.  If you can hang out long enough listening to purely Sixers talk you’ll even hear the guestimate of the ultimate question… When is Eddie Jordan’s time with the Sixers going to expire?

As always, thank you for listening… here it is.  AND, if you want to subscribe on iTunes and continually hit refresh on your iTunes podcast library for when another of our podcasts will show up… click here!

Is this one of those pictures that tells 1000 words?

As always, thanks for listening.  And those other voices… that’s Spike and that’s Lee Russakoff.

Listen here or subscribe on iTunes here.

*sarcasm alert